Nevermind
by LookAtAlllTheLeavesInTheFire
Summary: Hollowed to numbness. Every motion on auto pilot. Robotic movements. Do something. Say something. Nothing. Kiss her? Try to fix everything? Maybe she should just listen to Chloe for whatever she needs to say. Something. Don't just stand there! DO SOMETHING! (Bechloe, Chaubrey endgame)


**A/N: First chaubrey. Ellen and I are writing this one together. Hopefully it will be updated soon. The problem I have with multi chapters is: 1. My commitment issues and 2. My talent for straying off the path I carve out for them. We'll see.**

11 Years. That's how long Aubrey Posen has known Chloe Beale. 10 years. Thats how long Aubrey Posen has been in love with Chloe Beale. 25 years. Thats how long Aubrey has been on this earth. There are only 30 days left before Chloe moves to Seattle for medical training at UW and Aubrey moves to the University of Virginia. (25th - 75th LSAT percentile was 164-171 last year. Not too bad.) Aubrey has 1,800 hours or 108,000 seconds left to tell Chloe about her feelings. Feelings that she's been afraid of for half of her life. She isn't even sure if they are real. And if they are, she could lose her best friend.

* * *

"Bellas! That's it!" Aubrey called, once she was satisfied that they had it down. "Beca, you really think we're gonna win?"

The short freshman laughed. "Ohh, dude, you have no idea. We're gonna crush some treble ass!"

"Aww, I love it when you get excited like that," Chloe hummed before kissing Beca. It made Aubrey sick.

"I love _you_.." In a matter of seconds it turned into a big make out session, the other Bellas either pretending to throw up or smiled widely at them.

"Ahem, so anyway," Aubrey walked past them, pulling lightly on Chloe's shoulder to tell her to stop. "Finals are in 3 days.. Remember to get your things packed because we're going to stay the night there. We'll leave campus at 9AM sharp. Anybody late will have to get a new ticket and fly over by themselves." She looked around to see if anybody had any questions. "Plane leaves at 11. We're scheduled to preform last, since technically we weren't really in."

"What? Why 9? " Beca groaned, not wanting to wake up so early.

"Because the airports are busy this time of year and it's a Saturday . Now, you all get a good weekend of sleep, good luck on any finals you still have and see you on Saturday." She clapped her hands together and went over to get her things.

* * *

"Hey, Aubrey?"

"Yes?" They were sitting at their shared apartment.

"You've been acting really weird these last few days... Is everything alright?"

_No, Chloe. Everything's not alright. Nothing will be alright as long as I'm not telling you. Jesus why me?_ "Yeah. It's just stress.

Chloe Turned another page in her book. "No, its like a different...vibe than your stress... It's... I can't tell."

She scoffed. "Then stop trying to figure it out." Chloe didn't say anything after that for the next three hours. She was just silent. (Which for Chloe, was very unusual)

* * *

26 Days.

"Aubrey, I'm gonna be in Beca's room. Call me if you need me." Chloe waved as she left their hotel room.

"_Fantastic_, I'll just get wasted by myself." Aubrey decided out loud. They just won fucking finals. The one thing she ever wanted to accomplish this year, the one thing she wanted to celebrate with Chloe. Of course Chloe wanted to spend the night with her girlfriend. Everybody is happy. Note the sarcasm. We mean, they just won the ICCA's less than 24 hours ago. Even the people who didn't win are still celebrating.

Aubrey ended up getting slam-dunk-drunk that night. The bar at their fancy little hotel room just kept giving her the shots. I mean, it wasn't like she was trying to impress anyone. (Since surprisingly there weren't any Trebles there.)

"Shit! Bree, what the fuck!" Stacie saw the Bellas Captain face down on the bar counter, with the bar closed. Apparently they just left her there. "Aubrey, wake up."

"I ain't sleepin' I'm just smelling the fuckin' counter..." Aubrey's slurred words and sluggish movements spoke for themselves.

"Lets get you to your room, huh? Yeah, let's do that. Come on." Stacie took her arm and helped her back to her room, with the blonde mumbling something about how she once aspired to be an astronaut or something.

Once they got to the room, Stacie got a cup of water from the tap and gave it to Aubrey, in attempts to help with the inevitable hangover.

"You didn't bring any didn't you bring any Aspirin you knew this would happen to somebody. You're so stupid!" Stacie grumbled to herself as she looked through Aubrey's things, trying to find some sort of painkiller for the morning.

"Y-yah know what's really fucking utterly stupid?" Aubrey asked, smiling to herself. "Chloe Beale and ass-hat Beca Mitchell."

This stood out from all the other things she'd been talking about. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, Beca is a cool-cat, but Chloe is so- Ugh. _Perfect_. Like those eyes are always telling me somethin' but I can't figure out what." Aubrey sighed as she pictured them. Glowing blue. "And that smile! Dear lord have mercy on my soul. That fucking smile." She smiled even wider. "And the corners of her eyes crinkle up when she smiles. Shes she's the first person to ever ask me if I'm doing alrigh' just shit."

"So you like Chloe?"

"Yea...A lot. She's hella beau-u-tiful."

"But that's it. She's just good-looking?"

Aubrey's eyes widened and she sat up. "No no no no no no no no!" She shook her head violently. "She's the greatest fucking woman I have ever fuckin' met. I mean, her skin may be soft and her hair may smell nice but I can't get over everythin' she does. I mean, she's so nice to me and she takes fucking care of me. Which is funny cause I should be takin' care of her. I'm what? Three years older than her and- God I love her."

Things were getting real interesting now. "How about you tell me more about that, huh? How'd you meet Chloe?" Stacie sat down on the edge of the bed with Aubrey sprawled out on the other half.

"Well, I was sent to this shitty summer camp because my mom thinks it's great for social things. And we were in the same cabin-a-ma-bob..." She trailed off for a moment. "And then suddenly, kabam! We were friends and we did everything together and we hung out every day for two fucking months and then I decided to go to fuckin' Barden because that's where she wanted to go." Then she whispered, "But she went to Barden because she thought that's where I wanted to go. But I knew she wanted to go there. I knew. I always knew."

Stacie wanted to play this out a bit more. Get the latest news on this..Chaubrey thing. "When did you decide you... Liked her?"

"School. If you had a high enough grade point whatchamacallit you got to go to the beach for the day. We were sitting on a log and instead of doin' the extra credit for a class, I was talking with her about every damn thing we could think of. Books, shitty teachers, the guys we liked, the scary ass lunch lady. She even listened when I talk about my fucked parents. And I loved the way her damned lips moved and I loved the way she laughed. There was nothing wrong with her and that was so amazing. It wasn't anything she said or did. It was just..._her_." Aubrey sat up. "And then she started talking about that cunt, _Tom_." She said that name with a disgusted spit in her voice. "I have never felt so damn jealous before. I wanted to cry. And die. And strangle him. And kiss her." Aubrey made her hand into a fist. "In that order." She laid back down again. "And I just _knew_. Nobody has ever made me feel so much that I'm numb. I can't ever get her out of my mind. I try so hard but..._Beca_."

"She's the new Tom for you, huh hon?" She watch Aubrey nod. "I'm gonna go use the bathroom. I'll be right back."

By the time she came back out, Aubrey was passed out on the bed softly snoring.

* * *

Day 24

"Aubrey, hey. I was looking all over for you." Chloe smiled after nearly bumping into her.

"This is a 7 room condo. Three of which don't even have separating walls. I am sure you were trying so hard." Aubrey didn't even look at Chloe as she spoke, she stared just past her shoulder. "You were going to say something?"

"I- Yeah. Beca's coming over soon; so if you could tidy up a bit..."

"Why do _I_ have to clean? She's _your_ girlfriend." She turned around to go back into her room.

"Aubrey, why are you acting so mean to me?"

She stopped walking and swiveled around on the ball of her foot. "Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"No, I'm not."

"You-" she let out some air in her lungs. "You-" She clenched her fist and groaned. (It was more of a growl, actually.) "Just stop!" Aubrey turned back to her room and slammed the door. _"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't. I can't. I just fucking can't."_ She whispered to herself with her back pressed against the door. _"Dammit Chloe and your fucking face and everything about you. Fuck you. Fuck. You."_ She doesn't even call her 'Bree' anymore. It's strictly 'Aubrey' now. And it fucking sucks.

* * *

20 Days

There were now about 1,200 hours left. It has also been 10 days since the last official Bellas practice. They still hung around each other...But some of them went back home somewhere not around campus. By some we mean Ashley and Jessica. (Turns out they weren't actually there the whole time, well not anymore at least.)

"AUBREY! THE DRYER IS BEING AN ASS AGAIN!" Chloe yelled. "AUBREYY!"

"You didn't close the door all the way." She decided after evaluating the situation. "See?" Aubrey pushed the door closed and pressed the start button. "Simple."

"You always know how to fix everything. You need to teach me your tricks before we leave."

Aubrey scoffed. "I know everything, Chlo. I always know." She teased, walking back to her room. Of course she would have to bring up her leaving. She'd excited to get on with her life. To move on to the _next_ thing and get _new_ experiences and meet _new_ people. Away from Aubrey for the first time in more than more than a decade. _Faaantastic_.

* * *

18 days

Normal saturday. Nothing out of the ordinary. Typical start to the 3rd weekend. Oh yeah. Life's great. Aubrey hacking away at pre-school textbooks. (Those are a thing now, apparently.) Everything was right with the world.

Oh, and the yelling, screaming, plate smashing ruckus going down with the Chloe/Beca party outside her room. Yep, they can both be 'ass-hats' sometimes. This was bound to happen at some point. It's like putting one fez on top of another fez and attempting to go about your day. Alone they are very, very cool. But stack them up too high..._ 'London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down my fair lady.'_

Okay... shitty analogy with an equally shitting song. We apologize. Either way, that relationship was in trouble from the start. Day 1 was also the beginning of a 9 month-long doomsday.

It was really just a mess of, "You can't do this!"

"Yes I can!"

"This is stupid!"

"No it's not!"

"You're so ignorant!"

"You are!"

"It's a waste of time and energy!"

"You're a waste of time and energy!" The sad excuse for a fight had no path.

Because studying while there are other distractions around you is supposed to be counter-productive Aubrey just gave in and started listening in to their screams.

"You don't know how long I have been waiting for this!"

"But what about _us_! Didn't you think about _us_ before you said 'yes' to them?"

"Chloe, they are willing to fly me over there to do this! This could be my big break!"

"It could be, but what if it isn't? What if they toss you aside because they don't like you! I can't come save you then!"

"Honestly! Get over yourself! I can live. You're too attached. Let me go do this. For me."

"For you! FOR YOU! EVERYTHING IS FOR YOU. I HAVE SACRIFICED SO MUCH FOR YOU BECA. I WOULD HAVE STAYED HERE FOR ANOTHER FEW YEARS FOR YOU. I LET YOU STAY IN THE APARTMENT THAT YOU DON'T PAY RENT FOR. I BRING YOU LUNCH EVERY DAY. I FUCKING TUTOR YOU IN CALCULUS." Chloe's voice was so loud the neighbors probably heard. That seriously cannot be good for the possibility of her nodes coming back.

"Chloe, face it. We're over." The door slammed shut and after a few seconds the sound of shattering glass was the new audio experience. _That_ is not alright.

"Chloe!" Aubrey had run outside and found her best friend standing in a mess of shattered probably two wine glasses and a plate. "What..."

"I- I don't know. I just... I'm..." She looked around at what she did. "_Bree_." She whispered in barely a gasp.


End file.
